inhale the future, exhale the past.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Life's little lessons

Here is a list of things I have learnt  or come to the conclusion of over the past six weeks whilst living in London.

  • How to use a coffee machine (I no longer have to lie on my resume when I say I am a trained barista!)
  •  London  does not know the defintion of the word 'Summer'. There should be a law that if the temperature does not reach about 30 degrees, the word Summer can not be used to describe that particular season. Therefore, the months that England is in now should be referred to as "Winter 2.0" 
  •  Having an accent means you can get away with anything.
  • I like to sleep talk about colour schemes and people I have never met (much to my room mates amusement)
  • Pringles is an entirely acceptable form of breakfast/lunch/dinner/midnight feast
  • I will never be able to return to the unreliable and slow train service that is Metro after experiencing the tube. I have been acclimatized to only have to wait a maximum of 4 minutes for a train, anything more and I will die.
  • Amsterdam is a city, not a country.
  • English people do not know how to pronounce the word 'aquatics' , 'yoghurt' or 'hostel' correctly
  • Mixing blacks and coloured clothing in the washing machine actually does make your pretty, pink underwear come out a murky grey colour once dryed
  • Wales is to England as New Zealand is to Australia
  • Doing grocery shopping at 3 am means you come home with a lot of stuff you really didn't need ei- alphabet potato chips to play word games with, 8 tubs of chocolate yoghurt and a ASDA shopping trolley to hang your washing off.
  • The ability to sleep anywhere. I'm talking on the tube irrelevant of standing or sitting, on cafeteria tables during break, the decking floor of a boat crossing the English Channel, the dry stores room whilst polishing silver, the toilet cubicle of a hostel (the list is quite endless these days)
  • It is not weird to ask strangers if they want to lick your arm when you are covered in chocolate
  • The TV soapie "Eastenders" is so bad it makes "Neighbours" look like it was directed by Spielberg
  • Stuffing granola bars in your bra does mean you can get them through army security (except you may crackle/crunch and receive stange looks when they pat you down)
  • 'Offies' are the greatest invention in the world.
  • "Hiya, you right?" translates to "Hey, how you going?"
  • Bacon and baked beans on toast may be the most delicious meal in the world or possibly the grossest and I am always just so delusional with hunger when I eat it I think it is an incredible delicacy.
  • The walk from Stratford station into Olympic Park is so long I think I should get a gold medal every time I complete it. 
  • I have meet more Australians in the past month than I have in my entire life living in St Albans
  • OREOS tast like absolute shit in the UK.
  • I am absolutely in love with the city of London.

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